Posted: June 10, 2010 in England

Wayne Rooney swearing is not news. Footballers swearing generally is not news. Particularly “English footballers swearing”. You’re not telling me that the Portuguese and Italians aren’t cursing their socks off when they do that weird little pinched-fingers thing whenever protesting a refereeing decision, like they’re milking a very small cow.

However, some things are so stupid that they deserve to be news. And the Guardian’s assertion that the referees for England’s group games have been given a list of 20 English swearwords, deserves to be news.

20 swear words? Seriously? I can think of about 8, and I’d like to think I know them all. Are they including things like bounder, cad, rapscallion, poppycock, and balderdash?

Presumably they’re including the myriad of suffixes like -head, -face, -stain (my sister said it once, I was a bit disgusted), -end, -bag, etc.

It would be awesome if someone in the England squad (or even the backroom staff) was at this very moment scouring Shakespeare’s back catalogue for some of the awesome insults that the Bard put together, to put them into practice on the field of play. But I won’t hold my breath.

Actually they wouldn’t even have to look! I just found this Shakespeare insult generator.

That is literally whole seconds of fun, thou ruttish guts-griping flap-dragon!


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